Monday, August 20, 2007

RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder

Well, the list of symptoms is long and somewhat scary but from all the reading I have been doing there are so many children in foster care, or those who have been adopted that suffer from Attachment Disorder I wanted to post them here:

Symptoms of RAD in Children

Superficially charming and engaging, particularly around strangers or those who they feel they can manipulate
Indiscriminate affection, often to strangers; but not affectionate on parent’s terms
Problems making eye contact, except when angry or lying
A severe need to control everything and everyone; worsens as the child gets older
Hyperactive, yet lazy in performing tasks
Argumentative, often over silly or insignificant things
Frequent tantrums or rage, often over trivial issues
Demanding or clingy, often at inappropriate times
Trouble understanding cause and effect
Poor impulse control
Lacks morals, values, and spiritual faith
Little or no empathy; often have not developed a conscience
Cruelty to animals
Lying for no apparent reason
False allegations of abuse
Destructive to property or self
Constant chatter; nonsense questions
Abnormal speech patterns; uninterested in learning communication skills
Developmental / Learning delays
Fascination with fire, blood and gore, weapons, evil; will usually make the bad choice
Problems with food; either hoarding it or refusing to eat
Concerned with details, but ignoring the main issues
Few or no long term friends; tend to be loners
Attitude of entitlement and self-importance
Sneaks things without permission even if he could have had them by asking
Triangulation of adults; pitting one against the other
A darkness behind the eyes when raging

list was provided by

It is such a scary thing to deal with - and at the same time not always easy to diagnos. Many kids will present as ADHD or something else, but if you have adopted or have a foster child that displays even a few of these symptoms I URGE you to get that child into therapy.

This is not only for the good of the child, but for the good of your family. This disorder can make the most able parent feel inadequate and unable to parent. It can tear a family apart and make the parent who is the object of the RAD feel like less than a person

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Summer Vacation

It sure ain't what is used to be. I remember summer vacation being all fun and games for me. Well, now I konw that it was not all fun and games for my mom, especially if I drove her half as nuts as my darling daughter is driving me. She is bored and can never find a thing to do with herself. All she wants is to watch tv

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Parenting again

Growing up I always assumed that being a parent would be an easy thing to accomplish until my child/children reached puberty and that "rebellious" phase. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Riana is "spirited" at the very least and suffering from ADHD or something else at the most. We are committed to seeing her through all that troubles her and making her well - but it is an UPHILL battle. And there are times that this sweet little girl turns this house into one that sounds like a roller-coaster with her screaming and tantruming. I am learning how to deal with these tantrums and basically to ignore them until she behaves appropriately - but it isn't easy.

For the rest of the world she is a very sweet and well mannered child. We are complimented on her bevahior often. Which makes me feel good, but inwardly I still know how she behaves.

It seems to be about control with her - she wants to make the decisions about everything - and if she doesn't make the decision - well, it is tantrum city.

As I said we are working on it - and someday with all the nurturing, affection and love we are capable of she will work through these issues and the child the rest of the world sees - we will see at all times.....

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Manic Mornings

Every morning here is a struggle to get Riana ready for school - she argues with me at every turn and creates simple chaos - although we have a simple to follow routine there are mornings that you can just tell the routine is in jeopardy and today was one of them. It makes me wary of being a stay at home mom for the entire summer. We have started some counseling though and I am positive it will help Riana work through whatever issues she is having.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Wednesday, June 6, 2007


Here is the official cover for Mohican Lake... I am beside myself with pleasure

La Pensee

Riana has her open house for La Pensee tonight. Russell most likely won't be going with us as he is working on the other side of the state today. I would like him to be there, but it seems his job keeps him from a lot of the things that I deem important to the family.

I have also contacted a place to get Riana set up in counseling as I really think that she needs it and I am hoping that it will help her relationships with everyone, not just the animosity she feels towards me.